Core beliefs, us and our kids

I came across some good articles about core beliefs and the impact they have on all of us.

What do we want for our kids? What kind of beliefs are good or bad? How can we influence them in a positive way?

Core beliefs are assumptions about ourselves, others, and the world that we mistake for fact. They can be both positive and negative.

As a coach and therapist I know there's a reason that conversations about adult problems often involve discussions about childhood: We developed three core beliefs during childhood that affect us today.

1. Your Core Beliefs About Yourself

Your childhood gave you a sense of who you are as a person. The messages you received from your parents, siblings, teachers, and peers taught you something about yourself.

Your experiences helped you determine if you were kind, smart, socially awkward, shy or likeable. And once you gained a sense of who your are — and how others perceive you — it shaped your interactions and choices.

2. Your Core Beliefs About Others

Childhood taught you a lot about other people, too. Are people inherently good? Do they actively help others? Or do they hurt one another on purpose?

If you experienced a loving, nurturing childhood, you might have learned that it's safe to trust people, and it's good to help others. If, however, people weren't so kind, you might have learned that other people will hurt you or abuse you.

3. Your Core Beliefs About the World

Kids who grow up in caring environments with few adverse events might believe the world is a relatively safe place. They may look forward to a bright future in a peaceful world.

Kids who experience harsh and unpredictable events and those who endure chronic stress may believe that the world is a scary place, and that, no matter what you do, you'll struggle to succeed.

How we are as parents will no doubt affect our children. How it affects them is something we can influence by being aware of our actions. Awareness and knowledge is key and the more we learn and put into practice, the better off we all are. 

For further reading: